of course it all points here

on realizing it was already you

as i stepped out the door, an email came through. jordan’s abundance code had just dropped.

i rushed to the beach. the corner i knew had cell service. eager in a way that felt almost urgent.

fifteen minutes later i was standing on the rocks, arms wide, breeze on my face, head thrown back giggling.

of course. of course this is my abundance code.

i spent years trying to figure out what i wanted to do with my career. four years deep in the exploration, wiggling my way into eight businesses, each one arriving in my lap like an invitation i couldn’t ignore. could i do this business? what about this one? is this the one for me? i said yes, i explored, i dove in, i twisted and twirled and stepped in and stepped out and flew around — and the whole time, in the back of my mind, i kept thinking: if only i had a business i was truly passionate about. if only there was something so clear, so obvious, that i would just know. i kept thinking of a product, an offering, a physical space — some tangible thing to make it real. and meanwhile i kept investigating, kept digging into the things that lit me up, researching the latest happenings in business, who’s pushing the edge, who’s doing something different, who accidentally landed in the thing that made them, where did the idea come from, could i get my idea, what would it look like?

i always said i’d like something like business consulting. but it was never quite just that.

then i was sitting in a café in LA, eating a delicious sandwich with a friend, telling her about this ongoing itch — how i’d always had this desire to own a business, if only i felt passionate enough about something to actually do it. and she looked at me and said: that’s unique, you know. most people don’t want to own a business. if you have that desire, you should just do it.

and i had this quiet moment of — oh. that’s true. that’s actually so me. i’ve always been the one leaning in while everyone else backs away.

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i’ve followed jordan younger longer than almost any creator i can name — she’s the only account i pay for to this day. i found her when i entered LMU interested in food as medicine, she had just launched the blonde vegan, and something in me said yes, follow this. since then she has gone to the depths and back a million times over and i have watched every single era.

a few weeks ago she released her frequency code and it cracked something open in me — a new way of understanding my astrology and human design that landed so precisely it felt like the next level had just switched on. i told everyone i loved about it.

so when week six of the artist’s way arrived — the week on recovering a sense of abundance — and jordan released her abundance code the same week, the giddiness was immediate. and when i read it standing on those rocks, arms wide, i finally understood why.

my frequency code: the revealer. because every part of the formula points to the same thing — i am the person who names what’s actually there. i don’t operate at the surface. i operate in the places most people are too carefully managed to inhabit publicly. my career is built on going there and saying what i find.

and the undrstory mission, written independently, weeks before i read either code:

undrstory works where most advisors don’t go — beneath the strategy, beneath the narrative, into the dynamics that are actually running your business. we name what’s true. we help you lead from there.

i didn’t design undrstory to match my codes. they just kept pointing at the same thing.

the week the abundance code dropped, something else was already in motion. i’d been feeling this pull toward visibility — not broadcasting, but sharing the real arc. the winding road that actually led to undrstory. not just the business but the how, the why, the how did we even get here. everyone who has checked in since the launch has heard the same thing from me: i know my clients will come through my network. i just need to be more visible.

so i wrote a three part series on instagram. the story, the development, the road. it’s all there if you want it. (one, two, three)

so what was my abundance code?

the visible depths.

i earn by going further than anyone else will go — and letting that be known. i am built for depth, and depth requires being seen. every placement in the code says the same thing: the depth is real, but it only pays when it’s visible.

only when it’s visible.

fear lives here too, of course. i can be excited and hopeful 75% of the time and that other 25% is a full spiral — who do i think i am for doing this, how did i get so far off track, is this really possible? and so on. we feel her. we move through her with grace.

because julia cameron said it better than i could: “what we really want to do is what we are really meant to do. when we do what we are meant to do, money comes to us, doors open for us, we feel useful, and the work we do feels like play to us.”

undrstory is me. it is who i have always been.

it just took some time to get there.

the truth has its own timeline.

missed the last one? on giggles, flow, and the universe doing bits.

want to go deeper into the artist's way series? start with:

the opposite of shame